9/30/2002 09:54:00 AM [ link ]
Here is a followup to one of Chris's posts (to which I cannot link directly because he has his archives set up in a stupid way such that the particular post to which I am referring has dropped off of the main page but has not yet showed up in the archives).
The real point of this post is that this is amusing.
9/29/2002 04:35:00 PM [ link ]
Boojum137: I can't stand people who try to force their opinion upon others, so my goal in life is to make everybody see that.
9/28/2002 03:31:00 PM [ link ]
Me: Why does my brain get fried so quickly when I try to work on 455?
Joe: Because it's tedious, and your brain gets bored, and goes off to do drugs.
Me: Except... I don't do drugs.
Joe: Oh, not you. Just your brain.
Me: Um... Explain how my brain does drugs without me?
Joe: Your brain stem is dealing.
9/26/2002 12:20:00 AM [ link ]
It sounds like your everyday, bouncy-happy swing music, until you actually pay attention to the lyrics...
I want to kiss you every night
I want to squeeze and hold you tight
I want to make violent love to you.
"Haha," Tim says. "It's like a swing version of Closer."
9/25/2002 07:56:00 PM [ link ]
Ack. I was driving today, and saw 5 small bushes next to the road. For whatever reason, some of these bushes were cut very short, so they were just small squarish shapes. And some of them were taller, rectangularish shapes. And suddenly (for no apparent reason), the number '9' popped into my head as I was looking at these bushes. That's odd, I thought. I wonder why I just thought of the number 9, out of nowhere? Then I looked again at the bushes. short TALL short short TALL.
I need to get out of this major.
9/23/2002 11:21:00 PM [ link ]
Jenny was somewhat unreasonably incensed by my last post, calling it "libel" since I paraphrased her statement instead of directly quoting it. She offers the following as possible replacements:
Jenny: Then "fun" size would be about this big (arms spread in the gesture the stereotypical fisherman would make while describing for the twelfth time a four inch fish that got away).
Jenny: Then "fun" size would be about this big (makes a gesture of about three feet).
Jenny: Then "fun" size would be about this big (flings arms apart).
Jenny: Then "fun" size would be about this big (a small alien climbs out of Jenny's ear, summons a measuring tape from the deep, and stretches it to precisely 1.2 meters).
Jenny: Then "fun" size would be about this big (makes same the gesture used in the "I have a headache and it's this big" commercial).
Jenny: Then "fun" size would be about this big (insert witty statement to describe the gesture made by Jenny).
Jenny: Then "fun" size would be about this big (insert not quite so witty statement to describe the gesture made by Jenny).
Jenny: Then "fun" size would be about this big (insert really dumb statement to describe the gesture made by Jenny because you're running out of ideas).
Jenny: Then "fun" size would be about this big (almost misspell describe three times).
9/23/2002 09:46:00 PM [ link ]
on naming conventions
Nik: (points to Jenny's Butterfinger) I don't know why they call those the "fun" size. (points to jar containing larger Butterfingers) I think those should be the fun size.
Jenny: So by that logic, (*see comment above)
Me: No, no. See what it means is, the little ones are the "fun" size because they don't take very long to eat. You're just eating it for fun, and soon it's gone, see? Now if you want some serious candy bar eating, that's when you get one of the big ones.
Nik: Or maaaybe... they had fun designing the machine that makes the little ones...?
9/21/2002 02:27:00 AM [ link ]
Yeah so, the concert...
And you will know us by the trail of the dead: The singer jumped down on the floor with his guitar, and then when he climbed back on stage, the crowd decided to keep his guitar and the B&D guy had to get it back for him. But I don't have a lot to report about the headlining bands, because what really killed me was the opening act.
"Peaches." How can I even start describing her? I guess you should imagine an 80's hooker. Reeeeeally short shorts. Fishnets. White patent stilleto ankle boots. Hot pink jacket. Mullet. A curly mullet. She repeatedly went offstage to change her outfit. Each time, the shorts got shorter until finally she was wearing a only a bra and hot pink men's underwear. Like tighty whities. Only pink. One time she went off to change and left her backup singer just standing there, wiggling her bum and drinking a beer.
Did I mention the mullet?
Her characteristic stance while onstage was: feet well beyond shoulder width apart, head thrown back, pelvis jutted forward to display the crotch of her short shorts... and a microphone in one hand, while the other made lewd gestures. When some guys in the back started booing her, she told them... hmmm... In an attempt to keep this weblog suitable for my grandmother to read, curious individuals may ask me what she said she would do to them. I think she might actually have been a man.
I did mention the white patent stilleto ankle boots, didn't I?
9/19/2002 11:58:00 PM [ link ]
lightistoobright: going to the pageant tomorrow?
Raina119: no. who is there?
lightistoobright: queens of the stone age/ and you will know us by the trail of the deaf
lightistoobright: not deaf
Raina119: who knew one letter could change the interpretation of their bands name so drastically
9/19/2002 06:01:00 PM [ link ]
Joe: (talking about a corrugated joint fastener that he has to write about for tech writing) "Unlike a razor blade, it has bumps on it! So that way, the workers won't get bored. And unlike a banana, it's made out of metal! So it's easier to pound in."
9/18/2002 04:20:00 AM [ link ]
I haven't been writing much lately because I keep losing my keyboard. Actually, that's a lie. It's just that my life has been so... I don't know, neutral lately. I do my homework and go to class. I drink too much caffeine. I take too many naps during the day and don't sleep enough at night. There's no drama; I feel like someone stepped in and painted over me with thick grey paint. I feel like I should dye my hair, or run away to Europe. Even the anecdotes that I would normally put here just don't seem to translate very well lately.
Tom's post the other day hit so close to home I almost couldn't breathe.
9/14/2002 05:09:00 PM [ link ]
Not to be a party pooper or anything, but Jesus I hate WILD. It's only 5pm, and my apartment is a 15 minute walk from the party. Yet there are hordes of drunken people wandering around and shouting obscenities below my window. I hope they are having fun.
9/12/2002 11:28:00 PM [ link ]
Yet another hapless insect has met its demise at the hands of my firey halogen lamp.
And once again my room is filled with the acrid odor of charred bug.
I know they don't have hands. Leave me alone.
9/10/2002 11:47:00 PM [ link ]
Strawberry jam is the Aryan race of sandwich spreads. It snobbily believes in its superiority over mere jelly. &*%$ing elitist jam.
Maintenance people at our apartment were too lazy to remove a single square of duct tape from Jenny's wall before painting the room. They painted over it.
In desperate search of procrastination, I just built a tower of soda cans. Now I can't get to the volume on my stereo without contorting myself.
I am posting instead of doing the homework that is due tomorrow.
Someone help me, I think I am losing my mind.
9/09/2002 06:28:00 PM [ link ]
Zacharoony: you didn't even say goodnight.
lightistoobright: after you accused me of stealing your id!!
lightistoobright: falsely, I might add!
lightistoobright: now YOU are hurt when I do not say goodnight?
Zacharoony: meh, i stand by my accusation.
lightistoobright: then you shall recieve no goodnight from me.
9/09/2002 09:21:00 AM [ link ]
You know what's depressing? When you put on some calm orchestral music to fall asleep by, and an hour later the CD is over and you're still awake.
9/09/2002 02:10:00 AM [ link ]
I take everything back. My quantum book is quite possibly the best textbook I have ever had.
It's clear. It's straightforward. It is thorough enough to be understandable, but not so verbose that I fall asleep.
Best of all, it includes amusing side comments, such as:
"What is the amplitude of the oscillation? (If your amplitude is greater than a/2, go directly to jail.)"
"Compute <p>. (As Peter Lorre would say, "Do it ze kveek vay, Johnny!")"
If all textbook authors had just a little bit of a sense of humor, my life would be so much more pleasant.
9/09/2002 01:21:00 AM [ link ]
Zacharoony: do you know where my student id is?
lightistoobright: um, no
Zacharoony: ah...so...you're saying you don't have it?
Zacharoony: sweet, you have it?
lightistoobright: um, no
Zacharoony: oh...so...you're saying you don't have it?
Zacharoony: are you lying to me? you have it, dont' you? can i come get it?
Zacharoony: sweet. be there in 5.
lightistoobright: um... what makes you think I have it again?
Zacharoony: come now. let's not play games, i think it's a bit obvious.
Zacharoony: you stole into my room and took it while i was away.
Zacharoony: that wasn't nice of you.
lightistoobright: oh right, now I remember
lightistoobright: see the thing is, though
lightistoobright: I don't remember what I did with it
lightistoobright: I may have flushed it, actually.
lightistoobright: so sorry
9/06/2002 02:36:00 PM [ link ]
Listening to music on the way to class is eerily surreal. Especially if the music weird ambient stuff, kind of spacey with no real backbeat. Today a small white butterfly followed me halfway home, and I could swear it was listening to my music and coordinating its movements accordingly. (Sort of like watching The Wizard of Oz and listening to Pink Floyd.) I am continually amazed by how our brains try to make everything fit into patterns.
The more practical benefit is not having to listen to other peoples' overly loud conversations.
9/05/2002 09:54:00 PM [ link ]
I stand corrected. David writes from his semester in Ghana:
"Friday last brought us into the jungle, eye, the jungle as only the shadows and those who know and a steady stream of Ghanian and Obruni tourists have seen it. Ants, I discovered, are only really disturbing when they MAKE NOISE. A whole clony in a steady line making a steady click-clacking."So Hollywood didn't just completely fabricate the clicking noise, it seems. I stand by my assertion that it is overused. But it's nice to know that the clicking bug phenomenon is more than just a continually perpetuated myth. Or maybe it's not nice to know that.
9/05/2002 03:01:00 AM [ link ]
"I think all organized religion is absurd."
Now there's a position I have no quarrel with. I really didn't intend for my post to be so inflammatory. So, moving on...
"These are my office hours, and here are the GPS coordinates of my office. So, if you have a GPS device, you can probably find me that way. Of course, GPS devices are more often used for targeting missiles, so if you have any of those, this is where you should send them..." - Professor Rosenberger
9/04/2002 09:30:00 PM [ link ]
lightistoobright: what do I use to reattach bleyer [swing dancing shoe] soles?
Lolololori: SUper glue!
Lolololori: It happens to all of them!
Lolololori: Don't fret!
Lolololori: I've comforted many a gal that has lost her sole.
9/04/2002 01:08:00 AM [ link ]
Cell phones are evil, Part III
This really needs no introduction:
(Be sure to check out their mission statement.)
9/03/2002 08:33:00 PM [ link ]
(cue X-Files music)
Apparently I am psychic. This article just showed up on Slashdot. Posted at 8:15 this evening.
9/03/2002 01:55:00 PM [ link ]
Can't you people see that cell phones make you stupid??
Two examples. Last night at dinner, I saw a girl carry on literally a 20-25 minute conversation with the guy next to her about the various features of her phone. She's in the middle of a restaurant, and she can't think of anything more interesting to say than "See, you press *86 to check the messages (blah blah blah) night and weekend minutes (blah blah blah)." I'm sure her date was fascinated.
Today, I was eating lunch on campus. A girl walked over and sat near me with her food, and immediately pulled out her phone. She called a friend (who was presumably standing in line with her only minutes before) and said "yeah, I'm in the back." My first thought was that her friend probably lost her sense of sight in some tragic childhood accident. I was prepared to be dutifully sympathetic, until the friend arrived moments later with healthy vison. A minute or two after that, the friend's cell phone rang.
"Hello?... Oh, hi!... Yeah, we're in the back."
9/01/2002 02:17:00 AM [ link ]
As a little girl I was always deeply troubled by tragic love stories. It seemed that if two people loved each other, yet couldn't be together, then something must be very wrong with the world. I couldn't stand movies with unhappy endings; I would dwell on them for days.
I remember watching Franco Zeffirelli's Romeo and Juliet, and refusing to watch the end. I knew what happened, and I didn't want to see it. If I didn't watch it, I could make believe that Romeo got the message in time and he and Juliet ran away together and were happy.
Now I'm just cynical. "How long would their relationship have lasted anyway?" I wonder. A year, tops. At least with the real ending, everyone else stopped killing each other.