5/09/2006 04:52:00 PM   [ link ]

the mob knocked on my door.

At 8:30 this morning, I had just finished my coffee when I heard loud banging -- first downstairs and then on my own door.

"PLUMBER! Anybody home? PLUMBER!!"

I poked my bedhead out skeptically. "I didn't call for a plumber..." I squinted at him. This guy didn't seem like a plumber -- for starters, he was wearing a suit.

It was tan and expensive-looking. I've heard plumbers make pretty good money, but still. I didn't think they came to work in suits. His hair was slicked back. He talked like a Sicilian.

He smiled and explained to me that the back entrance was locked; he couldn't get down to the basement. They needed to install a new water heater, and could he just cut through my apartment to get to the back stairwell? His smile made deep creases around his eyes, although the rest of his face was smooth.

And with that smile, and that suit, and you're claiming to be A PLUMBER, OF ALL THINGS, I'm supposed to just let you waltz right through my apartment? Jeez, I don't think so, buddy. I let you in this apartment, that's when you're gonna off me, I know it. Don't try to fool me.

I told him to go around to the basement door from the outside, and I'd open it for him. I locked my front door as soon as he turned around.

The hot water doesn't do that thing anymore, where the pressure disappears and returns at random intervals. So I guess he was a real plumber. That still doesn't mean he wouldn't have offed me, though.