12/28/2004 11:14:00 PM   [ link ]

ahh, family

I.

(while making and decorating sugar cookies)
Mom: This one has a club foot!
Me (to Mom): YOU have a club foot!
Sister (to me): Your MOM has a club foot!

(following varying inciting statements from Mom, the scenario repeats itself several times)

Mom: You guys, what is with all these "your mom" jokes?
Sister: Oh come on, don't pretend like you've never heard "your mom" jokes before!
Me: And don't pretend like they aren't a million times funnier when one sister tells them to another sister!

II.

(We are eating celery, and I find a stalk that has strange offshoots that look like upraised arms. I decide that the celery looks like it is trying to scare someone.)

Me (waving celery at my sister): woooOOOOOooooo!
Sister: (unimpresssed silence)
Me (waving celery at my mom): woooOOOOOooooo!
Mom: (unimpresssed silence)

(I pick up a paperclip and gouge eye and mouth holes in the celery.)

Me (waving celery at my mom):
woooOOOOOooooo.........?
Mom: Oh oh OH! It looks like one of those..... TREE THINGS from Lord of the Rings!!
Me (sighing): They're called ENTS, Mom.


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