3/25/2004 01:52:00 PM   [ link ]

My Science Fair Project

The Effects of Moving to a New Apartment
by: Amy E. Hawkins

hypothesis: I should move. No wait. I shouldn't move. Shit, I can't do this, I don't even have a hypothesis!

method: Make a detailed list of the pros of a new apartment, vs. the pros of my current apartment. Rank each item on a scale of 1-5 based on how important it is to me.

pros of the NEW apartment:
4 - new carpet and hardwood
5 - central air
3 - dishwasher
2 - washer & dryer
5 - very big closets
1 - nicer bathroom
2 - can sit outside on the roof
1 - no terrible 8-yr-old violinist downstairs
1 - two cats to play with
2 - sharing cost of utilities

total = 26

pros of my CURRENT apartment:
5 - VERY spacious bedroom
3 - total privacy
2 - no weird modern decor **
1 - shorter drive to school
1 - utopically safe neighborhood
3 - feels like home

total = 15

Clearly, the new apartment is better. If I was forced to go through the hassle of moving, and had to choose between the two apartments I would definitely pick the new one. But is there enough of a difference to warrant all the hassle of packing my things and hiring movers, as well as paying $100 more in rent per month? If I were to rank these items in the same manner as above, it would look like this:

COST of moving
2 - higher rent
5 - packing
2 - hiring movers

total = 9

observations/results: Clearly, the pros of the new apartment should outweigh the pros of the old apartment by at least the cost of actually moving.

if (Pnew - Pold > Cost)
    I should move
    I should not move

As you can see, 26 - 15 = 11 which is greater than 9. So I should move. But... I don't even know if all my stuff will fit in the new bedroom! And that's only a difference of two points!

conclusion: I still have no clue. So much for the scientific method.

** Seriously. Bidets in the bathrooms?? HIDEOUS ugly modern lighting fixtures in the bedrooms? (Did I mention that these lighting fixures are BRIGHT RED?) We will replace those awful things.

...If I move, that is.