5/31/2003 12:11:00 AM   [ link ]

oh yeah, and the other thing that sucks about moving is when some jerk-off leaves a sofa in your new apartment that you don't have room to keep and so you arrange to sell it to someone but then when you try to move the sofa you discover that it is impossibly heavy and so you look inside it and discover that it is full of METAL because it is in fact a hide-a-bed and then you try to lift your end of it but fail so you end up standing around uselessly as your friend essentially bench presses it down each of three flights of stairs and all you can do is stand there saying inane things like "you're not going to die, are you?" and "I'm really sorry this is a hide-a-bed, I swear I didn't know" until finally you're unloading it from the uhaul and the indian guy that bought the sofa stabs himself on a nail sticking out from the bottom of it and starts bleeding all over it but at least you've gotten rid of the sofa and you never have to look at it again. the end.

5/28/2003 10:28:00 PM   [ link ]

"...so would you folks like some coffee? Some dessert? You should try some of the Chocolate Thunder Down Under!"

Oh no, no, we're much too full. Wait. The what??

"Chocolate Thunder Down Under! It's a rich chocolate brownie, with --"

Do you realize that that is possibly the most obscene and disgusting name any dessert could ever have?

"Oh, ahh...."


"Well, I don't eat it."

5/27/2003 03:09:00 PM   [ link ]

The thing that sucks about moving is when you miscalculate the distance between a brick wall and a railing, as compared to the width of a box plus the width of your hands. And then you end up surgically removing part of one of your knuckles and leaving it dangling from the brick wall.

I really hate that.

5/27/2003 10:46:00 AM   [ link ]

The very best feature of my new apartment is a little square door in the kitchen wall. When you open it, you can tell that it used to go through to the outside before it was boarded up - it's a throwback to old-fashioned days when milk was delivered to your home each morning.

Mine seems to have been designed especially with flying milkmen in mind, as I live on the third floor.

5/26/2003 05:25:00 PM   [ link ]

Today a random someone IMed me for the sole purpose of asking a question, one that I'm sure everyone who knows me has been curious about for a long time.

"are u a bot?"

Why yes. Yes I am.

5/19/2003 01:44:00 PM   [ link ]

just a warning

My current internet connection could go away at any time. I don't have DSL set up in my new apartment yet. So... I might have to disappear for a while. If I'm not logged on to IM, chances are that I am sad and lonely without all my imaginary computer friends. So, call me. 5-3555.

5/17/2003 09:42:00 PM   [ link ]

I exist, I swear. Just taking a bit of a break.

Not a lot to write about these days.

Today I went running - not something I do often. I usually tell myself I hate to run just for the sake of running, but today it felt good.

I needed to clear my head.

5/06/2003 01:21:00 PM   [ link ]

impulse shopping

Last night I did something bad. I was in line at the grocery store, and (completely on a whim) I decided to pick up... an issue of Cosmo. This is definitely a new local minimum for me, but everybody needs to read a sleazy magazine every once in a while, right? And when I say "a sleazy magazine", my roommate's subscription to Maxim doesn't count towards that, does it? Maxim is for guys, so it's not sleazy if I read it... right? Oh, who am I kidding...

ps - Does anyone else find it terribly amusing that one of Cosmo's monthly features is "Guy Without His Shirt"?

5/02/2003 08:42:00 PM   [ link ]

number of classes I am finished with: 3
number of classes yet to finish: 2
percent of allotted time I needed in order to complete my exam today: 50
number of fingers left over after counting on one hand the hours of sleep I got last night: 2
optimal time for a nap for getting taco bell: right after dreaming that my sister had taco bell and wouldn't give me any

5/01/2003 12:02:00 PM   [ link ]

If I get locked inside my bathroom one more time, I swear I'm going to kick something. There's something humiliating about standing on the inside of a room, and knocking on the door hoping someone will let you out.

Stupid *@$%!& broken doorknob.